Lent 2025 Day 4 - Birthday Day Drinking
- Flannel Diaries
- Mar 8
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 10
Lent 2025 Day 4: Birthday Day Drinking
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
What I’ve learned during some of the darkest moments in my life is that the ones you least expect are often the ones who show up when you need someone the most.
Yesterday was my housemate Marcia's birthday, and we celebrated with breakfast and a Friday morning Bloody Mary. There aren’t many people you can call up at the last minute and say, "Let’s get breakfast," but because we live together and our schedules allow for this kind of spontaneity, there we were—drinking vodka at 9 a.m., with tomato juice and pieces of cheese (which makes it slightly more acceptable). But this isn’t about the drinks.
Marcia and I have known each other for almost fifteen years. We met through work and advocacy—I think we were fighting for Marriage Equality at the time. She was an ally back then, but today, she’s more of a comrade—willing to put herself on the line for a cause she truly believes in. For about ten years, we were more acquaintances than friends, polite and personable. But as our circles intertwined, we saw each other more at events and social gatherings. It wasn’t until 2019—just before the Rona changed the world—that we became close.
There’s something about mutual tragedy that forces you into vulnerability. We were both going through painful breakups, and as the saying goes, misery loves company. What I learned is that two fiercely independent people struggle with vulnerability—until life forces them to let their guards down.
I remember the hilarious awkwardness of trying to comfort her when we were both wrecked by the loss of a relationship. Should I hug her? A reassuring hand on the shoulder? We were both navigating uncharted waters. But once you cross a certain barrier, you stop seeing just the image of strength someone projects—you see the human underneath it all, struggling to hold everything together.
I will forever be grateful for her. She showed up when I needed someone to cry to, complain to, and send drunken texts to while I was on the other side of the world watching my mother die. She was a voice of reason when I was drowning in grief, struggling to find motivation, questioning my passion for life, work, and my own purpose. And when my world turned upside down and I started law school, she offered me a place to stay—giving me stability when everything else felt unstable.
She has been one of my biggest supporters, harshest critics, and best friends. I am thankful for her every day.
A Lenten Reflection on Friendship:
Lent isn’t just about giving things up—it’s about reflecting on what truly matters, recognizing the people who have lifted us up, and committing to being better for those who love us.
The verse from Ecclesiastes reminds us that we aren’t meant to go through life alone. We all fall. We all break. And when we do, the people who show up—the ones who offer a home, a hand, a drink, a moment of laughter in the midst of pain—those people are sacred.
This Lent, I’m reflecting on who has shown up for me and how I can be a better friend in return. Because in the end, it’s not the ones who say all the right things—it’s the ones who show up, again and again, without needing to be asked.
So, Happy Birthday, Marcia! Congratulations on another trip around the sun. She has also deemed that she will be called "Prime" until her next birthday. Make it so.
.jpg)
Comments