Lent 2025 Day 36: No One Should Settle
- Flannel Diaries
- Apr 14
- 3 min read
Remember that scene from Sleepless in Seattle when Meg Ryan’s character, Annie, tells Walter she’s developed feelings for Sam Baldwin—even though they’ve never met? She fell in love with the idea of him, just from a few minutes of hearing him on a talk radio show speak tenderly about his late wife.
I always wondered how Walter could be so calm. I mean, they’d just spent the whole Valentine’s weekend picking out china at Tiffany’s. And she breaks off their engagement based on a feeling that Sam might be her soulmate? It’s fricken' amazing he didn’t dump the champagne over her head and call her a liar—or worse a whore.
Instead, what does Walter say?
“I don’t want to be someone that you’re settling for. I don’t want to be someone that anyone settles for. Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it, isn’t it?”
And Annie’s response?
“Walter... I don’t deserve you.”
And then she just... stands up and runs off to find another man. Like, damn.
I’ve always admired Walter for that. You have to be so secure in yourself to not freak out in that situation. That is some enlightened, next-level Zen shit right there. But the truth is—he was right. No one should be settled for. No one should be someone’s placeholder. Not in marriage. Not in relationships. Not ever.
I don’t want to be someone’s “they’re-alright-for-now” person. That interim warm body between breakups. That backup plan. That “maybe this will work out” attempt. I’ve been that. And I’ve had people try to make me that. No thanks.
There were times in my life when I channeled Walter. And there were also times when I was messy and bitter and let my bruised ego run the show. But once the dust settled—and I got my head on straight—I’d always come back to Annie’s words: “I don’t deserve you.”
Nope. You didn’t. That’s facts. That’s clarity. That’s truth.
Maybe it’s the pragmatist in me that still wonders if Walter ever found the woman who deserved him. I hope he did. Because even though he was basic, stable, predictable, and had a shit-ton of allergies—he was a good man. And there’s someone out there who wants exactly that. That’s the kind of love story I’d love to see. The kind where two people choose each other fully, honestly, and with open eyes. No settling. Just two humans who want to be there. Together.
Lenten Reflection: The Courage Not to Settle
"Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good." – Romans 12:9 (NRSV)
Walter had it right. Love is already hard enough without lowering the bar. Lent is a season of honesty. A time to examine our expectations, our choices, and how we show up for ourselves and others.
🔹 Where have I accepted less than I deserve—just to avoid being alone?
🔹 Have I treated others as placeholders, rather than people worthy of deep, authentic love?
🔹 What would it look like to love with clarity instead of fantasy?
This week, let us check our hearts—not just for who we love, but how. May we refuse to settle. May we choose with courage. And may we become the kind of people worthy of the love we seek.
Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other.
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