Lent 2025 Day 16: The Art of Compliments & The Weight of Words

Proverbs 16:24 – “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

My friends love giving me dating advice because, let’s be honest—I’m not great at it.

One time, I told a friend how terrible I am at giving compliments. I assume whoever my partner is should already know they’re beautiful, hot, sexy, etc. I mean, I wouldn’t be with them if I found them hideous, right?

Looks aren’t everything, though. Real attraction comes from the inside out. Kindness? Hot. Compassion? Sexy. A great sense of humor? Irresistible. You can be stunning on the outside, but if you’re mean and cruel? That’s a hard pass for me.

I’m blunt. Too honest, sometimes. And I hate tired, overused lines. My delivery? Needs work.

My friend asked for an example:

Me: You look good.

Them: No, I don’t, Vangie. I don’t even have any makeup on.

Me: Well, at least you don’t look like sh*t.

Them: Another classic Vangie compliment.

Me: You should’ve just said, “thank you.”

End scene.

So yeah, my friends think I need help.

Another attempt:

Friend: Do these pants make my butt look big?

Me: Blame it on the pants.

Friend: Blame it on the pants? 😂😂

Me: No?

Listen, I try.

The Weight of Words & Unsolicited Advice

I don’t know why my friends feel the need to give me unsolicited advice. But honestly? It’s always nice to laugh and just talk about life.

We go from the mundane (golf, dating, daily annoyances) to the serious (jobs, finances, politics).

We talk about how our president is crashing the stock market while the broligarchs only care about protecting the wealthy 1%. Meanwhile, the middle class is being crushed, and we’re spiraling towards fascism. People are just trying to survive—paying their bills, keeping their jobs, holding onto any social safety nets.

And yet, this country forgets its own history. Reparations were never given to the descendants of the enslaved. Black communities continue to be marginalized and oppressed. And we wonder why our nation is drowning in wicked karma.

It’s exhausting to fight for your right to simply exist.

Lenten Reflection: The Power of Words

Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

My love language isn’t words of affirmation—it’s acts of service. But I know that words matter.

🔹 They have the power to build or break.

🔹 They carry weight, whether we intend them to or not.

🔹 They shape how we see ourselves and the world.

I’m trying to get better at compliments because I know they matter. I’ll never say something I don’t mean—but I can be more intentional with my words.

Maybe that’s part of this Lenten journey—learning to speak life into others, even when it doesn’t come naturally.

Take care of yourselves. And take care of each other. 💜

📖 Read my Lenten Reflections: flanneldiaries.com (link in bio).