Lent 2025 Day 12: Finding Peace in Solitude & the Memories That Shape Us
- Flannel Diaries
- Mar 18
- 3 min read
Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
During the pandemic, I spent more time alone than I ever had before—and in that solitude, I discovered something unexpected: peace. For most of my life, I had been constantly surrounded by people. Work, social events, relationships—there was always someone in my space. Even when I was technically “alone,” I was never truly alone with myself. But during those long, quiet months, I realized something important: I actually enjoy my own company.
Growing up, my house was always full of people. Noise. Movement. Life. It felt natural to always have someone around. But I’ve also known what it’s like to be in a crowded room and feel more alone than if I were sitting in my own bedroom. I imagine many people feel that way sometimes.
The Joy of Doing Nothing.
One thing I uncovered about myself? If no one reaches out, if there are no plans—I'm perfectly content doing nothing. No pressure. No expectations. Just existing. Of course, after a while, I’d start to feel a little cabin fevered. So, if the weather was nice, I’d go for a walk. Or better yet, I’d head to a golf course—just me, the open sky, and the sound of a ball cutting through the air.
A friend recently reminded me of the nights we used to go dancing at The White Horse—a small, local gay bar in Berkeley, CA. It was everything you’d expect from a neighborhood queer bar in the ‘90s and early 2000s—sticky carpet from decades of spilled cocktails, a tiny but mighty dance floor, and a space that felt like home. We danced, we laughed, we let loose. We made fools of ourselves in the best way possible.
People say, "Youth is wasted on the young."
I don’t know if that’s true. Because when I look back, I don’t feel like I wasted anything. I had an incredible time being young. I was surrounded by beautiful, wild, wonderful human beings who loved me fiercely.
And maybe that’s what makes solitude feel so full rather than empty. Because I carry those moments, those people, and that love with me.
Even when I’m alone—I’m never really alone.
What This Season is Teaching Me
Ecclesiastes 3:11 – “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
Life keeps moving. The bars change. The dance floors disappear. The crowds come and go. But who we were, what we shared, that never leaves us.
Solitude has a way of revealing what really matters. And sometimes, being alone is exactly what we need to remember how deeply connected we truly are.
Lenten Reflection: The Holiness of Stillness
Lent is a time of quieting the noise, stepping back from distractions, and reconnecting with God. It’s a season that reminds us that sometimes, the holiest moments are not found in the crowds, but in the stillness.
Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray (Luke 5:16). He knew that in solitude, we don’t lose ourselves—we find ourselves.
Perhaps the lesson in all of this is that solitude is not emptiness—it is preparation. The quiet moments, the walks alone, the times when life slows down, they are all invitations to listen.
🔹 What is solitude teaching you?
🔹 Where do you feel closest to God when the world is silent?
🔹 How can you embrace stillness as part of your spiritual journey?
This Lent, may we not rush to fill the silence, but instead, rest in it. May we trust that even in solitude, we are never truly alone.
Take care of yourselves and take care of each other.
Read my Lenten Reflections at: https://www.flanneldiaries.com link in bio.
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