Lent 2025 Day 2: Ride Or Die

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother [sister] is born for a time of adversity." – Proverbs 17:17 

Coleen & Vangie at my Undergrad graduation 2009

Friendship isn’t just about the years—it’s about the moments, the memories, and the ways someone shows up for you again and again. When I think about the kind of friend everyone deserves, I think of Coleen Mande. I will never forget the day we became best friends. We were in 4th grade, I was a weird kid, and two stupid boys stole my shoes right off my feet and threw them into the boys’ bathroom. As a kid, the idea of breaking the rules to get them back felt impossible, the binary was strong, I probably cried. But Coleen? She saw what happened and, like a little superhero, recruited another boy to go in and retrieve them for me. Shoes saved, dignity (mostly) restored. That moment set the tone for our friendship. She’s always been someone who steps up, someone who helps, someone who cares. 

We became inseparable, bonded by a shared, slightly twisted sense of humor. We spent summers as kids riding bikes, drinking from garden hoses, and getting into just the right amount of trouble. We stayed close through elementary, middle, and high school, even as our interests started to diverge. She started liking boys, I pretended to like boys. We both played cello in the orchestra, but where she stuck with it, I veered toward sports—rackets, balls, running track. Sometimes, I wish I had kept playing instruments alongside her instead of chasing athletics and competition. There was something special about making music, about the way it connects you to the world and to yourself. 

But through it all, Colleen remained the same—kind, giving, hilarious, with a heart so full of love and generosity. She is the type of person who makes the world better simply by being in it. She was one of the first people I told I was gay, and her response? A simple, 'I know,' followed by the same unwavering friendship. No hesitation, no weirdness—just love. 

Life took us in different directions, but our friendship never faded. Some people come and go, but then there are the rare, beautiful souls who remain—who grow with you, who laugh with you through the decades, who remind you that real friendship doesn’t require daily check-ins, just a steady heart. 

Lent is a time of reflection, and today, I reflect with gratitude. For the friendships that shaped me, the ones that lasted, and the ones that remind me of the best parts of life. Coleen, you are a gift. And I am endlessly grateful for you. 

6th Grade. Did I even own a hairbrush?

8th Grade Valentine's Dance La Vista Middle School

Into the Wilderness: Ash Wednesday

Picture with coal ashes and quote: Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return. - Genesis 3:19

I grew up Catholic, but these days, I consider myself a recovering Catholic. What people might not realize is that I still love Jesus—after all, he never said anything bad about gay people. While my faith has evolved and I’m now Protestant, I’ve carried some valuable lessons from my Catholic upbringing. One of the traditions I still practice is Lent. 

For me, Lent isn’t just about sacrifice—it’s about reflection and renewal. Every year, I give something up and add something meaningful to my life for 40 days. 

As the Bible says on Ash Wednesday: 

"Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." – Genesis 3:19 

This verse reminds me of humility, growth, and the fleeting nature of life. It’s a call to reflect on who we are, where we’ve been, and how we can do better. 

So this Lent, I’m committing to two things: 

1. Giving up soda pop—because I don’t drink enough water, and being intentional about my health is part of taking care of myself. 

2. Daily self-reflection on past relationships (both romantic and friendships)—owning my mistakes, acknowledging growth, and honoring the lessons I’ve learned. 

Every day for the next 40 days, I’ll be sharing reflections—some written, some as videos—on what I’ve learned from my relationships, the good and the bad, and how I want to move forward. This is about accountability, growth, and maybe even a little redemption. 

Why 40 Days? 

Lent mirrors Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11). During that time, he fasted, prayed, and faced temptation. It wasn’t just a test of endurance—it was a time of preparation. He left the wilderness stronger, clearer in his mission, and ready to step fully into his purpose. 

Maybe we’re not wandering a literal desert, but we all go through wilderness seasons—times of struggle, questioning, and learning who we really are. Lent is an invitation to embrace that process, to sit with discomfort, and to emerge on the other side renewed. 

Finding Strength in a Chaotic World 

Let’s be real—the world is exhausting right now. The political climate is chaotic, injustices are rampant, and so many of us are walking around carrying frustration, fear, and fatigue. It’s easy to feel powerless, to let anger take over, or to burn out from constantly fighting battles we shouldn’t have to fight. 

But Lent reminds us that transformation starts within. If we want to face the world with clarity and purpose, we have to first confront our own mess—the ways we’ve fallen short, the ways we can grow, and the ways we can show up stronger. 

Reflection isn’t passive; it’s a tool for resilience. By engaging in this process, I hope to not only acknowledge where I’ve been but also prepare myself to be more intentional in how I move through the world—especially in times like these. 

So here’s to 40 days of reflection, renewal, and hydration. Here’s to stepping into the wilderness, coming out stronger, and facing the world with a little more clarity and purpose. 

Black History Month

As a Filipino immigrant, what do I know about Black History? I was taught the same things everyone else was taught if you went to public school. I knew slavery was bad, the Civil Rights Movement happened, and that Martin Luther King Jr. freed the enslaved... oh wait. That’s not what happened.

I didn’t truly understand the importance of Black History and how it’s intertwined with my immigrant story and the story of the United States. I didn’t get it until I took a semester of African-American history in the U.S. during my first year of college. I needed to truly understand because I had a feeling it somehow affected how I moved through the world.

The best way to explain what I learned is that African-American History is American History, and American History is African-American History. They are not parallel but interwoven and dependent on each other. Our democracy is founded on the backs of enslaved people, the genocide of Indigenous peoples, and the exclusion of immigrants. We have never been a peaceful country—we have always been violent. To pretend otherwise is both delusional and negligent.

Where am I going with this? Happy Black History Month. Acknowledge it, but don’t stop there. Black History should be recognized and understood all year long. Learn how it shapes your own life—because it does.

#BlackHistoryIsOurHistory #BlackHistoryMonth #BlackLivesMatter #BLM #BlackExcellence

It’s Black History Month—Here Are 3 Things to Know About the Annual Celebration:

1. Black History Month started as "Negro History Week" in 1926. Carter G. Woodson, known as the "Father of Black History," established the week to recognize African-American contributions and ensure Black history was studied and valued. It expanded into Black History Month in 1976.

2. February was chosen because of Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass. Both figures, who played significant roles in Black history, were born in February. Douglass, who was formerly enslaved and became a leading abolitionist, never knew his exact birthdate, but he celebrated it on February 14.

3. Black History is global. While the focus is often on the United States, Black History is deeply connected to movements across Africa, the Caribbean, South America, and beyond. The struggles for freedom, civil rights, and equality have influenced and been influenced by Black communities around the world.